They get the poopie diapers, I get to spoil it!!!

keith heather
Originally uploaded by oubrandi.
We found out on Sunday night that Shelton's younger brother, Keith, and his wife, Heather, are going to HAVE A BABY* !!!

What does this mean? Yeah, yeah yeah, Shelton's parents will be grandparents and Heather and Keith will be parents and there will be a cute little bouncing ball of excitement to play with next summer- BUT, what does it REALLY mean?


The news was immediately met with the highest of emotion. Tears were shed and smiles were spread wide across faces. And it's taking all I have not to start calling people and go HAVE YOU HEARD?! So the spreading of this news on my part has been seriously controlled.

CONGRATULATIONS to Keith and Heather and best wishes for a healthy, happy pregnancy!

*If you are finding out about the baby for the FIRST TIME here on my blog, then I apologize. BUT, I've held it in for TWO days now and I can't hold it in any longer! THE WORLD MUST KNOW!


H is for Homeless

I just returned from what was quite possibly one of THE most fantastic weekends I've ever had. I went to Kansas City for the weekend for the bachelorette party of my office mate, Sarah. Six of us packed up Friday night to drive North. I was a little nervous because I don't usually do well with large groups of girls I'm not familiar with. It's always hard to break in and find your place, in this case, in a VERY established circle of friends. It didn't take long for all of us to be chattering and giggling as if we'd known each other our whole lives. I was also pleased to find out that for ONCE I was not the ONLY married woman in the group. The single girls were actually the minority on this trip. Nah-nah nah!

The 3 hour trip to KC was filled with talk of sex, babies, periods, husbands, how we fell in love, past party stories, college and so much more. By the time we made it to our host's, Erica, apartment, any awkwardness was gone. Erica has a DARLING apartment in the Plaza. We decided to spare our livers and our energy and stay in. We kicked back in our PJs with Digiornio pizzas and a few bottles of wine and just talked our little heads off. I don't know why, but that pizza was pretty damn good! I don't know if there was crack in the cheese or what, but MMMM!!!

One by one we started nodding off. Saturday morning was like something out of a dream. I WAS IN MY PAJAMAS UNTIL NOOOOOON!!! 12 PM PEOPLE! We all got up and moving and headed out into the Plaza. We had lunch at Kona Grill. It was pretty yummy. We had a secret project going on at the apartment for the bride, so a few of us headed back and the rest of the group headed to shop in The Plaza. I'm glad I chose to go back- I got to shower, take an on/off nap and watch a little football. The secret project was a penis cake for the party. Missy is one hell of a little chef- if she and I joined forces, we could kick Martha's ass!
Now, if ever there was a perfect likeness of the male genetalia made of flour and eggs- THIS. WAS. IT. It was really almost weird to slice it up and eat it, and it was deeeelicious.

Ok, so we all got to the hotel and starting primping and curling. We had a little shower for Sarah with plenty of lingerie and sex toys to start her marriage. Sarah was quite a trooper because she is a really private person. So Sarah- props to you for being such a rockstar and rolling with all of this!! (She had to go to NYC from KC this morning for work, so I'm hoping they didn't search her scandalous bag at the airport)

We went to dinner at a fabulous Italian restaurant. Thank you Sarah for the wine and dessert. From there it was to TEAR IT UP!!!

We hit 3 bars. The first ended up having quite the gay scene- but it was way cool. They had this whole piano bar/lounge singer thing going on. It was a lot of fun. This is where Sarah began her scavenger hunt list of things to accomplish before night was out. So, "A" was for "Ass" and she had to slap some random guy's. I don't know what letter it was for, but she found a fellow KU fan and sang their alma mater. For each of our names she got to give us a dare. So for "K", I was dared to kiss this fabulous New Zealand fellow on the cheek. Really, it's a cheek, so I did. I fessed up to Shelton and of course-no harm. I also, umm, decided to jump up on top of this table and start dancing. I got in trouble. The DJ came over the speaker and said "Get off the table now." Okie dokie! Down I came, shaking like a leaf.

When we left this bar this random bird calling man was standing outside and someone had Sarah take her picture with him. That was when I announced that H is for homeless. I'm so mean. But seriously, we laughed. And then today, we laughed about it some more.

We made it to our third and final scene. A club with a happening dance floor. My legs are STILL hurting. I danced my fanny and my legs off. And then I decided I'd had enough. I need to park it on this stool. But oh no, the dancing gods had something else in mind. The DJ, with his book full of burned CDs, started THRILLLLLERRRRRR!!!! OH MY FREAKING GOODNESS!!!! My booty was back up and shaking. And, you know from the video, the werewolf dance where they swing their arms back and forth?? Well, I could not control myself! I just. kept. doing. it.

We left there and had to get our one and only puker into the cab. This too was an adventure because on the way to the hotel she had our BEST CAB DRIVER EVER Adam Joseph pull over on the side of the road. She told us to "Go on with out me! I'll be fine. Leave me here." Umm, right. We're going to leave you in some stranger's yard.

We made it back to the hotel safe and sound. You'd have thought we'd all smoked like a pound of pot or something because all we could think about or talk about was FOOD. The greasier the better. We did not end up with any food and quickly passed out. And no, there were no drugs. I drunk dialed Shelton a few times and lucky for him his phone was dead. And lucky for EVERYONE in my phone list, my phone was also dead or I'm sure I'd have waken the dead.

One of the highlights of the trip was that I found my toe twin. Yes, my toe twin. See, when someone talks about something that gives me the heeby jeebies- oh lets say a nerve WRAPPED around a wisdom tooth! My toes start to clench up so tight, they curl under my foot. It can be excruciating. People laugh at me and think I'm crazy- and yes there are things I do that would rightfully lead someone to that assumption. BUT- THIS IS NOT one of those times. Anyhow, Miss "muggin' down on Omaha" Katie is my toe twin. She experiences the same phenomenon when heeby jeeby things are spoken of.

There are about 100 or so other situations and comments, but really, I should probably wrap this up.

Girls, I think this was a vastly appropriate send off to Sarah. I feel like I left Kansas City with several new friends, at least I hope so. You are an incredible group of women. Thank you for contributing to one hell of a fun weekend! I am sooooo looking forward to the wedding where we can tear it up again.
Thanks for laughing at me for having a blog. You should feel honored that today, as my blog's BIRTHDAY POST, it is the recount of our bachelorette weekend!


I lost my virginity to the gas pump tonight

Originally uploaded by oubrandi.
I haven't felt the gut-wrenching pain of paying more than $25 a tank for gas in my car yet, but tonight, the $2.79/gallon liquid guzzled out of the pump as if it were my own blood. For the first time EVER, I put FORTY DOLLARS WORTH OF GASOLINE INTO A TOYOTA CAMRY!!!

I really only fill my tank about once a month, so I hadn't yet felt the money being physically pumped out of my rear end. It hurt.

But hey, on the bright side, they are STILL not charging for the blue washer fluid!!!

(image credit to Fussy


The picture of pathetic.

I'm sitting here watching The Emmy's.

Felicity Huffman just won, from Desperate Housewives.

I've got a bucket of vanilla ice cream in my hands, I've squired Hershey's syrup inside.

I. Am. Bawling. Uncontrollably.


Me and my crazy dreams

I've always had very vivid, memorable dreams. I can still remember stuff as a kid that was just insane. I've always said I would make a great thesis project for a psych student! Anyhow, last night was no different.

The first featured my sister and I. We were here in my upstairs apartment. Typical Kansas, a report came on that a huge mother of a tornado was on its way. We panicked and called my mom. She said since we were upstairs and had no where else to go that it was important that we do the following: put a bite of food in our mouth, but don't swallow; then SEW OUR TONGUES to the floor so that when it blows by, we will be ATTACHED to the apartment! Like good children, we followed her instructions, and when that tornado came by we were sucked up into the air, but stayed put, because we were sewn to the floor.

The second dream was about this guy I work with and his girlfriend. He came in one day and told all of us that his girlfriend had killed herself the night before and that he was kind of upset about it. KIND OF?! He was very blahzay about the whole situation. So that afternoon he and I drove to a meeting and on the way there I was like- Really, how are you holding up? Unbelievable what happened. Blah, blah blah. He then broke down in tears and I consoled him. That was pretty much it.


Super Target vs. Super Wal-Mart

I'm have a disease. It's a serious addiction to Super Target. I have seriously gone three nights in a row and bought things on each of those trip. I go at least every weekend and sometimes during the week. It wasn't an accessible store in Norman/OKC and so I was forced by a darker being to spend my hard-earned dollars in the belly of the beast... WalMart!

But Wichita did bring to me the accessibility of Super Target. And so now, I think I have only been to WalMart maybe 10 times since we moved here. My parents and I constantly argue over what we believe to be the finer points of our respective favorites, mine being Target. Below, a "scientific" analysis of the two.

Short lines, if any, at the register
Sweet, wonderful cashiers
Pre-made fajita kits
Einstein bagels
ahhh, the sounds of silence
an unwritten code amongst shoppers- TEN AT A TIME
gift registry
orange clearance stickers
sock clearance rack
Ka-Yute clothes!!
Fabulous shoes... i'm being serious!
scrapbook aisle
the no-stress, no-mess parking lot
have you been down that candy aisle?
and the card aisle, dont' EVEN get me started!
they are french, c'est la vie

Sam Walton's dream... SPLAT!
Oyster cage... they definitely do not have a shopper code
sensory overload
sure it's cheaper, sometimes A LOT cheaper, but I'll make that sacrifice
Sara Lee deli meat... that's a plus
you have to use vacation time to find a parking space
the germs... THE GERMS
i've never found a decent gift bag there
the cashiers act like their soul is extracted everytime they clock in
they don't have the little shopping baskets


You know it's a Monday when you realize half way through that your underwear are on inside-out.

Just another Manic Monday over here. Work was full of the usual insanity that Monday brings. I amost didn't come in because I'd been up sick the night before. But I decided to put on my big-girl panties and face the day. Glad I did because I had a voicemail from my AE saying he'd be out because his hole house was puking.

Shelton and I were supposed to start going to the gym after work, but my stomach was still not fully recovered so we opted out of that. It's always tomorrow, right?

Monday was actually pretty good. I've learned that if the weekend brought plenty of R&R, then Monday ain't so bad. Looking back, we had a busy weekend, but I felt plenty rested by the end and got in lots of lazy time as well. Highlights from the weekend include:
- My parents moved back to Wichita. Same town as me. Only 20 minutes away.
(more on that later)
- Shelton's grandparents and brother Elliott graced us with their presence for
lunch on Saturday. Short and sweet.
- Attended a wedding shower for a friend from work. There was chocolate cake.


Thanks Grandpa!

This is the email I received from my Grandpa today:
"If you plan to root for OU this year, you better plan to be disappointed. They look terrible."

My reply said that a true fan takest he good with the bad and that's exactly what I plan to do.

So, congrats to my Sooners today for stomping the Golden Hurricane!


Thank you God for my many blessings.

I took off work a little early today to go down and help the local news station accept food donations and load semis to be driven down to New Orleans. I'm not telling you this so you'll pat me on the back or think I'm doing a good thing. I was awe-struck by the amount of stuff being dropped off. They had already sent THIRTY trucks down to New Orleans and had 4 more locked and ready to go. Unreal.

I have really not mentioned the hurricane at all. My heart is broken and I spent the first few days crying over every news story I heard and read. The pictures were as painful to see as those from 9/11. I come home everyday and complain that I hate this crappy apartment and so many of our possessions are still in OKC. It's so petty and so lame. My life is so full in ways that I can't even see. I've never once in my life known "want", and luckily, I've never known "need". I feel helpless in that I want to do more than I can possibly do. But I have given when and where I can and continue to seek out opportunity to do so.

What saddens me most is that in possibly the most advanced nation on the face of the earth, we sat and watched this happen. Our president, if you can call him that, sat on his ass on yet ANOTHER vacation in Texas. FEMA didn't roll in for days. All the machines, equipment and man power we need is over seas fighting for Bushy's dear sweet oil. On the day they announced the evacuation, the day before Katrina hit, we did nothing to help these people leave. You can't tell people who already depend on public assistance and public transportation to leave town and not give them a hand in doing so!!! And whether they had the means or not, we should have provided the means without a seconds thought.

But today, seeing the children and the rich and the poor coming out giving all that they did, warmed my heart. It was amazing to see ALL OF THAT FOOD. It's not a home and it's not a job, and it certainly doesn't get back priceless wedding pictures and it doesn't bring back lost loved ones- but hopefully it will give so many several warm meals and be one of many tiny steps to regaining a life.

My prayers are constantly with the all those affected by Hurricane Katrina. I hope and pray that everyone is doing some something to help.


A little bit of random

My short week has quickly grown long and exhausting. I've put in a serious amount of overtime, I've worn a blister on my right foot and I've picked up a third client. Phew! All in all I can't complain, and as usual, laughter is what pushes me through. That and all the compliments on my hair... I've been going curly for a while now.

So I thought I'd share some of the tiny things that have made me laugh this week, and hopefully they will make you smile, too.

1. I'm in a new client pitch meeting for a museum. One of the board members asks each of us why we think it is important for people to visit, why we think our campaign pitch will work, etc. I'm with 5 people and they each give their insightful, thoughtful comment. I'm sitting there thinking PLEASE do not pick me. It was like 5th grade science class... no i didn't read the chapter and no i don't have any answers for you. So low and behold it's my turn. OUT OF LEFT FIELD I start talking about how I'm a picky eater and this one time I tried calamari and surprisingly I learned that I liked it and now I order it all the time and if you can just convince people to take that first bite they will most likely keep coming back. A calamari analogy. And at the end everyone shook their heads in agreeance and said oh that was wonderful and blah blah blah... and then I said-straight of Will Farrel's Old School- Did I just blackout? Good Lord.

2. A woman I work with said this little boy knocked on her door the other night and asked if she wanted a glass of lemonade for a quarter. She of course said yes, because who says no to a door-to-door lemonade salesman. There are a lot of things I'd like to have delivered and I think lemonade would be one of them. So the little boy says he has to go home and get the lemonade and he takes the quarter with him. He comes back with a half empty tiny cup of lemonade, because it probably all sloshed out on the way. So my co-worker says to him, oh this is so nice, you're collecting money for the hurricane. She said he shot her this confused look and said very matter of factly, No! I'm saving up for a four wheeler!

3. EV-ER-Y-BODY with their DAMN comments and their DAMN jokes about how the Sooners lost to TCU and I just keeeep smiling and keeep laughing. INSIDE I AM DEFINITELY NOT LAUGHING.

4. I don't know if this is funny, I laughed for a moment. I'm shopping for hurricane stuff last night at heaven (aka Target) and I'm roaming around the sporting goods aisles looking for a football or soccerball for a boy. First, does anyone know how much those damn things cost? Good Night! If I have a son, I hope he likes sidewalk art because I can afford some chalk. $20 for a soccer ball... are they serious??? Anyhow, I find this whole rack of clearance life jackets and I thought to myself, in reality, they could probably use some of these. I laughed a little to myself and then felt bad.

No, not the most exciting stuff but it made me laugh and well, it usually doesn't take much.


I feel cold. Numb. Confused. Where am I?

I left town Friday night riding high on the Boomer Sooner choo-choo train of excitement. My heart was racing and my blood was pounding through my body. There is nothing quite like the feeling of Game Day uno. And the fact that I got to be there as the insanity kicked off made it that much more exciting.

Friday night I took Mindy to the Mont and met up w/ friends Patrick and Whitney for a couple hours of drinks and conversation. I think it was a proper introduction to Norman for Mindy, including the Swirl.
Monday morning was met with a bright and beautiful sunrise, cool breeze and a thickness in the air that can only be described as that Sooner Magic.

We made our way down to the stadium at 9am and started making our way through the tailgaters on Tent Row. After being denied mimosas at O'Connels, (apparently it is legal to serve nachos and beer to 40 year old mean at 9am, but you can't serve liquor until 10am... where does that line draw?) we set out on a mission to find them. Low and Behold, we stumbled across a tent serving mimosas and oddly enough the guy who was treating us to the game knew the guy in the tent and he hooked us with three rounds of mimosas. So nice.

Our seats were up on the new club level. It was really very nice, I was impressed. Having the option of an a/c break was delightful. So the sell-out crowd of 84,000 people took to their feet chanting Boomer Sooner and clapping and cheering knowing that the first victory, of what we hoped would be many, was only 4 hours away.


We played, or were played by, the Texas Christian University Horny Toads/Toad horns, Horned Frogs- something. WE LOST! UN-FREAKING-BELIEVABLE! I sat in silent astonishment as they continued to just hand us our ass over and over and over again. I mean, was this some kind of sick joke? Was Stoops actually there yesterday?

As the stone-cold silent crowd made our way back to our cars after the embarassing season opener upset, I thought there was only one good thing that could come out of this- we don't have to spend the next 4 months wondering and stressing over whether we will go undefeated or not. Now we know.

So this is how the other half lives and I don't so much care for it. Mindy is a big K-State fan and so we thought we'd take her down to Norman and show her what a real football game looks like. Apparently she saw nothing she wasn't already used to.


Let the BOOMER! SOONER! Insanity Begin!!

Oh sweet mother of God, it's time once again for OU football!!! I've been antsy for a week and now we're just over 24 hours a way from kick off. I'm fortunate enough to be standing inside the Oklahoma Memorial Stadium when the drum major throws his head back and marches out across that field, when the first chord of Boomer Sooner is played, and when our team in crimson and cream marks their first victory of the season. I LOVE OU FOOTBALL! There is just the most overwhelming buzz around any game, but the first game is insanity... and I like it.
A friend has generously offered myself and another friend 2 of his tickets to the club box/suite- whatever we're calling that.
I've got all the appropriate OU paraphanalia packed so that I can head South as soon as the clock strikes 5.

Good Luck to our Sooners. Everyone enjoy this Labor Day weekend.

I'd also like to add a note that I'm encouraging everyone to get out and donate whatever they can to the Red Cross, Salvation Army or other worthwile organization. The hurricane victims need our support and prayers.

Boomer Sooner!