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Family Emergency

Wednesday night I was kicked back watching the all-important third episode of One Tree Hill. There's a lot going on- Nathan and Haley are at a vulnerable point in their marriage (seniors in high school mind you), Lucas and Brooke don't know how to love each other, Payton just found out who her real cocaine loving mom is- There is A LOT going on folks! And it is all too important to miss. I mean, good lord, is Dan going to find out who tried to burn down the auto dealership? I DON'T KNOW.

So, I'm maybe 15 minutes in and the 18-year olds played by 27-year olds are setting up their very public, very underage beach booze party when I hear this CHIRP! (seriously, when I was in high school, if you wanted to drink you had to find the very back 90th acre of somebody's farm land and hide- not dance around all drunken like in the MIDDLE OF THE BEACH where the police can find you.

Ok, so I hear the CHIRP and then NO SOUND. None. Silence. So that I don't miss a single second of the show, I immediately hit mute to bring up the closed captioning. I probably read better than I listen so I'm thinking this is no problem. Must be some glitch at the station, I mean, afterall, it is WB. Every couple seconds I mute/unmute to find the sound. It's still not on. At commercial, I flip to other channels- NO SOUND. I. Am. Starting. To. Panic. Brandi, it's ok.

So, I watch the entire episode in deaf mode- closed captioning. Thank GOD for the deaf, and I mean that in the nicest way possible because I would not have heard the fight between Lucas' mom and Dan. I am kind of concerned for the deaf though. Seriously- closed captioning has GOT to be typed in by a VERY drunk man who doesn't speak english. This is what it looked like-


WHAT IS THAT?!??! Sometimes whole sentences would be missing, whole portions of sentences would be missing. Ridiculous. Nevertheless, I was thankful for this tool on Wednesday night.

I went ahead and killed the TV after One Tree Hill because I couldn't handle 2 more hours of this silent nonsense. It was then that Shelton made the AWFUL diagnosis- Our TV had lost its sound. That's the equivialent of the doctor coming in and telling me that my left ventrical had stopped working. FIX IT- FIX IT RIGHT NOW! OH MY GOD!

Thursday night Shelton brought the TV in from the office. And I never thought the living room TV was huge, and I never thought the office TV was small- BUT THEY ARE. I felt like I was watching TV on a postage stamp. We have got to remedy this situation. It's not right for me to live this way- for any American to live this way.

When I was a kid we had a similar family emergency. One Saturday afternoon my Dad SCREAMS from the living room-
"Kids, get in here, we've got a family emergency!!!"

And folks, he was serious. As in, I was thinking- oh God, I do not want to go in there because mom has some irreversible disease and who is going to drive me to school and why can't she just have my liver? "Emergency"- that is what he said and that is what his tone said.
We get in there and he's all, "Kids, sit down. Umm, the TV just blew up." WHAT?!?!?!?!

Dad- "We were watching [probably some ridiculous John Wayne movie] and the TV just blew up, it's dead."

In my brain- Ok, so mom isn't dieing and I get to keep my liver? Why are we in here again?

Dad- "Brandi, how much money do you have in your savings account? We have to go get a new TV TODAY!!!"

In my brain- you want what?! Crazy ass.

Brandi outloud- "I don't know, a few hundred dollars?"

Dad- "Ok, we're going to have to borrow that and we'll pay you back later."

Later that day, a shiny new TV came home. So now all I can think is- why the hell haven't Shelton and I had kids yet so we can go buy a new TV with their hard-earned babysitting money?!?!

Okay Brandi, if you are going to tell a story get it staight
It was a sunday afternoon and we were watching FOOTBALL when the tv exploded geez, it was a sunday and jeanie and britt had just left whatelse would be on but football

love you sis

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