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Crimes against HUMANITY... in my OWN FAMILY


wonka_wilder
Originally uploaded by oubrandi.
I'm casually talking to mom and dad last night over the speaker phone. (is that one word or two, looks weird either way? Ha I should be able to answer that!!) We are talking about summer movies. They just watched Mr & Mrs Ho-Bag, I mean Smith and said it was the best movie they have seen in such a long time. Now I might have to watch it.

I start talking about how I'm not sure I'm all together psyched about the Willy Wonka remake by Tim Burton starring Johnny Depp because I absolutely love the original.

My mom, the woman who birthed me, carried me in her womb, taught me the difference between right and wrong says- Oh, I've never seen that movie.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?!

It gets worse. Dad, he taught me how to ride a bicycle people- oh yeah, I've never seen it either.

I think it's possible that my heart momentarily stopped beating. How is it possible that two grown adults in the United States of freaking America have not watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

I don't understand math. I don't understand the concept of light years. I can't work an Excel spreadsheet. And now, I obviously, do not understand how they have lived a life without Oompa Loompas and rivers full of chocolate.

The Orpheum, a small older theater here in Wichita, is showing the original on July 17 and you know I'm there (although that will cut in to my day 2 of reading Harry Potter #6)... I am going to try to get these Oompa Loompa-less people up here to watch.

Pray for them please. And if you've never seen it- don't tell me, I can't handle it.

Don't need to see it dad

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